Posts tagged Positive Parenting
I didn’t really get caught up in the Olympic fever, but one story really resonated with me because it reaffirmed one of my strongest beliefs. Whilst this is no surprise given the way our unconscious filters in the things which fit in with our beliefs and values, as I explained briefly in a post on my other blog, it still feels good when it happens!
It’s my belief that every child has a seed of greatness in them, that if nurtured and cherished will blossom.
Not everyone will go on to be an Olympic champion, but they can go on to be the very best version of themselves and that’s all any of us can hope for.
Here’s the story, taken from Sky News….
“While 80,000 people in the London Olympic stadium held their breath, wondering if Mo Farah could become the first Brit to ever win gold in the 10,000m, one man had no doubt.
Alan Watkinson, Farah’s PE teacher and the man he credits with turning his life around, knew he’d be a champion from the age of 11.
“He was a lively kid,” Alan recalls with a wry smile. “He was swinging from the goalposts and doing all sorts of crazy things in lessons but he loved PE. He loved sport, he loved to be active and that was something that needed to be harnessed.”
Farah came to south west London at the age of eight, an asylum seeker from Somalia.
In a mainly white school he stood out and the language barrier didn’t help matters.
Farah came to the UK from Somalia as an asylum seeker when he was eight
He fell behind in lessons and started to get into scrapes, but Alan spotted Mo’s talent and persuaded him to try athletics.
Back then, Mo was more interested in football than running, and Alan had to resort to bribes to motivate him to win competitions.
“I said if you win the English Schools (he had come ninth the year before) I’ll buy you a football kit. And he did win the English Schools.
“So before the Olympic final yesterday, I sent him a text message saying ‘If you win I’ll buy you a football kit’.
“He hasn’t sent me a text back yet so hopefully he won’t expect it!”
Far from being just another teacher in Mo’s past, Alan has stayed close friends with the long distance runner, even standing as his best man at his wedding.
Watching his protege cross the line in the Olympic Stadium was an experience Alan says he will cherish.
“I was jumping up and down and screaming. The people next to me must have thought who’s this guy? What’s he doing?
“It was just a remarkable feeling. From knowing him 17, 18 years ago and seeing him develop from that youth who had a few troubles at school but who was charming and good humoured … to see him go from that to the stadium in London was just … you couldn’t make it up.
“Tears were rolling down my cheeks, I don’t think I even saw him go across the finish line I was so emotional.”
He’s gone from a mischievous child to an Olympic champion, but Mo Farah can’t relax yet – he’s scheduled to compete in the 5,000m final next week.”
Isn’t that a wonderful story!
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a teacher like Alan Watkinson. Many don’t even have a friend or parent to believe in them.
What I would like to say to you if you have grown up feeling unloved, unworthy and unfulfilled is..
It’s never too late!
At any moment in life we all have choices. Choices to do, say, think, feel and be what we will. It may not always be easy to make the right choice and your race may be starting way before the start line, but the past does not equal the future.
You can build a great life despite a poor start.
You can be so much more than you know if you will just give yourself a chance.
Mo Farah became an Olympic Champion with the help of his PE teacher, who saw and nourished that seed. You can become a more brilliant version of yourself by routing out and cherishing your own shoots of brilliance.
Why not start a new race today.
The race to be the ultimate you, whatever that might mean. Build yourself up and start the journey to the life of your dreams.
I know it can be done because I have been fortunate enough to work with people who have changed their lives around. You can do it too!
You deserve it, all you have to do is believe that, want it and be prepared to make the choices to make it happen.
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I know that I’m sometimes very deliberate in my parenting and I am aware that I might go on a bit sometimes to make my point, but let’s face it, no-one teaches you how to parent do they? You don’t get a guide book on ‘Good Parenting for Kids’ or how to acquire the necessary parenting skills with your first born! We all hear lots about bad parenting and I don’t want to fall into any of those traps. I probably drive my children mad! Positive parenting I like to call it, and those moments when they naturally demonstrate a lesson I know I’ve purposely taught them, make it all worthwhile!
A couple of weeks ago, whilst camping with my children, our great British Summer weather struck and our tent was destroyed. Not just buckled a bit, or frayed; completely and irrevocably broken.
We were in a museum avoiding the rain when I got a call from the camp-site to tell me. It was one of those moments where time starts speeding round in your head and at the same time standing still, or so it seems. Part of me wanted to panic, cry and ask someone else what to do. Part of me wanted to laugh. Yet another part wanted to stamp my foot, cross my arms and shout “It’s so unfaaaaair!” To begin with I did none of these – thankfully!
I have trained myself to look for learnings everywhere in life and so once I’d got into the car and started driving, my brain switched into ‘Ok, what can we get from this mess then?’ and I put on what my Dad always called my ‘determined head.’
Sure enough, the tent was destroyed, but the camp-site owners gave us shelter that night in their ‘Campers Lounge’ (a lot like a big shed!) and we collected another tent the next day. The immediate problem of where to sleep was solved. In a way, that became irrelevant. What was important to me, was that the boys see that I wasn’t defeated and that we could find a solution. We stayed positive and we still had fun. We turned a disaster into an adventure.
Yesterday, my eldest was stringing some green beans, with my ‘safe’ bean stringer. He pushed instead of pulled and deftly sliced off the side of his thumbnail! ouch! Without much fuss, he then continued, only to slice the top off of his other thumb!
I tended to his wound – it was pretty deep – and told him to go and sit down and that I’d finish the beans. He said “No. “I won’t be defeated by this mum!” and having sussed out that the problem was his technique – he was pushing the stubborn beans onto the blade rather than pulling them through – and in doing so stringing his thumbs too! – he finished them off.
“Great attitude” was all I said, but it was one of those positive parenting moments for me and I was grinning inside. I always try to encourage the children to look for other ways to do things and above all, to never give in, and this little episode was great proof that my message is hitting it’s target somewhere!
As parents we constantly put our children first, often going without ourselves in order to give to them the best we can. We do this because we love them and want to be the best parents we can.
If I was to say to you, that you may be creating all kinds of problems for your children and even limiting their potential, you may think me rude or harsh. That isn’t my intention. You see your example is perhaps the most important gift and lesson that you will ever give your children. From the day they are born they are watching you and learning from you. Seeing how you interact with others, how you behave in different situations and how much, or little, you value yourself.
Many of the beliefs you now hold as the pillars of your life, you will have taken on from someone around you when you were very young. Someone who may not have known any better. The way you feel about yourself was created when you were too young to understand what was true and what wasn’t, and again, will reflect those who peopled your life.
If you want to be a great role model for your children, and I think almost all parents do even if they’re not sure how, then the best way to begin is by working on yourself.
Freeing yourself from limiting beliefs and increasing your self esteem and confidence will not only enrich your life, it will also set a shining example for your children, one which they can follow and which will allow them to lead more empowered and fulfilled lives.
If you have thought about self improvement and shied away, perhaps through lack of time, lack of motivation or because you ‘just couldn’t see the point’, I’d like to urge you to think again.
Do it for your children or do it for yourself. The results will be the same and you and everyone around you will benefit.